A Sheep In Wolf's Clothing

I bite. Not literally (unless you're into that).

I tend to be on a different page with most people. That mostly stems from me being a person of information. A hoarder if you will. I collect as much as I can and analyze it. Often withing seconds of meeting someone I have a good enough picture of them to feel as if I'd known them my whole life. Of course, I am the only one in the exchange that feels this way. Still, I make friends and interact and grow closer to them. Or so I would think. Generally the only people who stick with me are outcasts or people who don't consider themselves normal. Everybody else quickly grows tired of me. I know it will happen, yet it surprises and hurts me every time. I never know what exactly did it. I am only left to guess. I hate that.

Having been scared by repeated betrayal, if I can call it that, I have taken up a persona. One that would protect me. One that keeps people away. But it's not strong enough. It still stutters, and when it does - I let myself get hurt again. But the stronger it gets, the more secluded I become.

I'll just have to adjust my suit and move on.

It takes very little to shake a soul

Or a lot, depending where you start measuring.

Shaking.

I can't stop the feeling. I'm rejecting the notion.
My body is rejecting it. Every part of me is.

NO.

NO.NO.NO.NO.NO.

Embrace

You know, friend, there are only a handful of things that put me at ease in this restless world.
I am glad that I have them, as, every now and then, it just gets way too unbearable to go on.
Some are simple, like a good, hearty meal.
Some are more delicate and hard to attain.
My dear friend, you are one of those things, something or, rather, someone I ought not lose.
It might seem like a simple gesture but to me, every time we hold one another in our hands,
the whole world lies still, and I can breathe.
I feel light, and can breath without a care.
As long as I can love your existence I am free, I have the capacity to be happy, to move onward.
So stay, be with me a little longer, let your touch linger as you softly caress my body and my soul.

Avec mon dernier souffle, je vais appeler votre nom.

Void

Let's talk.

I've said things to you.

Things I don't know how you took.

That's a lie.

I know, but I'd rather that wasn't what it is.

It would mean so much more if it isn't what it is.

But it is what it is.

I am what I am, 

and you are you.

You've always been the same -

amazing.

To me at least.

You give me wings.

But I lock myself in place with chains.

My mind is full of them.

Every little bit I learn stoking the flame burning inside of me.

There's not much left to burn.

So I desperately struggle to gain more.

More to burn.

More to stay alive for.

As if I even am.

I might have died a long time ago.

Now I'm just remnants of thoughts and wishes crawling to get to where I was supposed to be.

Maybe some day I get there.

But you probably won't be beside me.

So I no longer know if ever want to be.